Snow. I might indeed live in Maine, but I hate it. This year has been more tolerable because we have gotten less of the fluffy white stuff (until this week, but it wasn’t so ‘fluffy’), but also because of another change. To understand my hatred of winter, you must understand a few things. Aside from having poor circulation and carpal tunnel syndrome, both of which cause me agony when snowblowing, up until this past year I have had to deal with something more treacherous than either condition…my old 2 wheel drive, green, 1995 Chevy S-10. Yup, from 1999 to 2009, that was my baby. Not like the baby you love because you want to love it. It’s more like Rosemary’s baby – you love it because it’s all you have, and in many ways you probably have an underlying hatred for it.



I could live with summer – the only time things got dangerous was when I was dealing with mud (nearly trace amounts of mud were enough to cause me to get stuck), or any type of incline on dirt or grass. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, that is kind of ridiculous. It’s true, though. You just learn to deal with it and don’t go many places that are even slightly off the beaten path. Luckily, it was a light truck, so a group of people could push it out of wherever it happened to get stuck. The winter, however, was unbearable. This truck could very easily get stuck on a fully cleared driveway that had a slight incline. If there was more than two inches of snow, you may or may not be able to get over a driveway, depending on the amount of speed you were able to pick up. Putting 4 cinder blocks in the back helped a little bit – giving more traction to those rear tires that needed more weight and power oh-so-badly. But really, you just learned not to go out in any type of snow or you were taking your life in your hands. I always knew this was pretty absurd, but it wasn’t until I gave a friend a ride to work in a snowstorm last year (after he locked his keys in his truck – the only thing that could cause a person to want to ride in my death trap), and he just asked me “So you always have to deal with this?”. Yup – I was so used to finding routes that didn’t have hills, or gunning it to get up a small incline, inevitably getting stuck partway up a hill and (hopefully) putting it in reverse to get back to the bottom, only to find another way.

So, this past fall we traded in the old beast. I was hesitant because all I could think was that I didn’t want my wife and I to have 2 car payments. My truck had been paid off for so long, and it at least got me by, even if conditions weren’t optimal. We bought a V6, 4 wheel drive, small SUV (our first ever 4 wheel drive car - we didn't even have all wheel drive and we live in freakin' Maine!!). All I could think about for the first few months were the payments and the fact that the gas mileage that was much lower than my little green wonder. My wife has a 10 minute commute, while mine is closer to an hour a few days a week, so she takes it when weather is nice. Taking the new vehicle on the crappy days has been amazing and a life changer. Seriously. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but my new found freedom is enough to make me giddy when I think about it. The roads in our town were pretty bad these past few days, but it’s fine with me. Other than being introduced to anti-lock brakes (which is enough to make me insanely angry and could easily provide enough frustration for another blog), I now rule the road. Sure, I have friends with much cooler vehicles, and I do miss the old green death trap, but I’m liking the idea of safety. And I really like being able to get to work or go to the store when it's snowing or muddy out. Drive safely out there, friends.
~Reverend Genius