Only sheep need a shepherd. Maybe some people’s lives suck so badly, and maybe they just have such a lack of self-esteem and belief in themselves that they need to put their fate in the hands of something ‘greater’. How else could you possibly explain people believing in something as foolish as a man in the sky, who has nothing better to do than intervene in the mundane lives of humans (and in that case he would clearly be doing a shitty job, looking at the state of the world today). Believing that must make you ‘special’, huh? Well, we all do want to be special. We want to think that even though our dog or goldfish doesn’t have a soul that will go to heaven, we do. I’m still not sure if that idea shows an incredible sense of egotism, or just means someone is that afraid of not existing anymore. I can say without a doubt that I’m not afraid of being dead. Hell, I was dead for millions of years before I was alive. Dying? Well, that process could potentially suck in a very big way.
Why am I writing on this subject again? Well, after I see so many posts on any social networking page that talk about jesus, the lord, santa, easter bunny…all those make believe people, I feel a need to vent by using a little something called The Brain. Yeah, notice I didn’t use a capital letter to start those other names, but I’m going to give The Brain that credit. Why? Because if more people used it, it would solve all the problems that those other fucks are waiting for divine intervention to solve. It reminds me of the quote “One pair of hands working can accomplish more than a thousand clasped in prayer”. Why didn’t I cite the person who said that? Well, because I can’t remember, am too lazy to look it up, and also because this is a fucking blog, not a term paper.
“You think you live forever. You don’t find that profound?”. While I’m certainly not above quoting Ozzy Osbourne, it asks a great question, doesn’t it? Forever? You are going to ‘heaven’ FOREVER? Shit, that’s a long freaking time. When does that end? Oh, it doesn’t you say? Fuck me, that doesn’t really make any sense. At least that’s consistent with all the other bullshit you believe. What other bullshit? Well, that is well-documented in science and is included in my previous blogs. To parasphrase quickly: Everything relating to religion has either been disproved through science or contains claims that can’t be substantiated through science, and the religion is completely stolen from prior religions (including ideas of the trinity, the resurrection, crucifixion, December 25th, yada yada).
There isn’t any real power in tomorrow. Tell me you are going to start saving money, exercising, or looking for a job tomorrow, and I’ll bet that you won’t. Do something today to start the routine and show initiative, and I’ll bet you might just continue with the momentum. So, if you believe that everything happens for a reason, why the hell would you get off your ass and do anything? It’s not in your hands, so just call it a part of ‘god’s plan’. Convenient? You bet! Damn, I actually have to take responsibility for the shit I fuck up. I have the burden of knowing that my life is what I make of it, not up to some other entity that (despite billions of other people on the earth) has nothing better to do than intervene and make sure that everything in my life happens for a purpose. Oh, fuck me.
Look, I'll admit it - I’m a reverend. Yup, I was ordained online in my living room. Why? Because it’s fucking ridiculous. When I bless someone or something, I’m doing it as the complete equivalent as some self-absorbed fuck that stands up on a stage in front of a church. Want to be like a rock star or comedian, but don’t have any skill? That’s the job for you. You get to talk about something fake, be completely pompous, support the idea that you are better than others because they don’t believe in your god (when your god hates the same people you do, that’s a little too convenient), and you also get to fuck little boys – something most priests clearly enjoy. These fuckers even get supported by their church, so they don’t have to have a real job. If I didn’t have any self respect, I would completely do this job.
Wait, isn’t the idea of a man in the sky that looks after us similar to the story of Santa Claus? This might be a good case for why we actually should teach creationism in schools. If we can teach the story of Santa to young kids and then later tell them the truth that it was made up, I suppose we could do that with the idea of creationism. Any other reason for teaching it would be absurd. It’s actually fairly funny that humans reach an age when they think to themselves “hey, this couldn’t be possible – a man couldn’t go around to every house and bring toys to all the kids in one night”. But somehow, some don’t have the capacity to question the even more ridiculous ideas proposed by the ideas of religion.
Ah, I feel better. As a side note, whether you believe in god, or use The Brain, watch Religulous by Bill Mahr. Seeing a well-educated man completely refute things that the higher-ups in the church are saying, leaving them stumbling and speechless is awesome. I welcome your thoughts.
-Reverend Genius.
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"I was dead for millions of years before I was alive." I never thought of that one before. You know, I don't remember anything from being "dead." Certainly not any Jesus or spirits or anything like that. You're also right about another thing. Church is so full of a bunch of people all thinking they are better than others. Wierd Al puts it best: "Scorin' points for the afterlife."
ReplyDeleteThanks, man. glad you liked it. It's one big, fucked-up thing. I don't get how these people think. I be honest, I have 1/3 pity for them being brainwashed and trapped by bad logic, 1/3 envy that they lead such simplistic lives as far as not having to think for themselves, and 1/3 anger that they can be so irrational.
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