Life at 30

Everyone who is older than me has successfully done it. It’s just a number. So, why does turning 30 have such an effect on people? Suddenly, questions arise about where you are or should be in life. Should I be making more money by now? Am I too old to have this messy hairdo? What about my earrings – should I take those out now? How about my big-buckled watch? Is that too juvenile? Lots of people keep asking how it feels to be 30, as if I should feel different. It seems like everyone views it as one of the many milestones of adulthood.





Having a birthday with a “0” at the end of it has a tendency to make us look at the past decade and what we thought or hoped it would be. Instead of thinking of time as a continuum, it causes us to foolishly look at decades as blocks of time – usually blocks of time when we should have met certain milestones that were important to us, or ones that society says we should have met. It’s interesting that it can even make old dreams, ones that are often no longer important to you or congruent with your current lifestyle, something that you should have done. Then you start to feel a sense of loss for something that is often less important than the goals and milestones that you DID meet. Focusing on the positives, particularly when you feel like you aren’t in control, can be tough. Well, I’ve got news for you, folks…when it comes to age, you are NEVER in control.



So, if I’m not in control of my age, what do I have control over? This is actually a question I asked myself a few years back, as I was approaching 30. This led to me making some changes in where I was headed. So, let’s foolishly look at the past decade as a single block of time and see where we’re at. Seriously, do this for yourself. As far as I gol, I’m far healthier at 30 than I ever was at 20. I workout a minimum of 5 days a week, eat healthy most of the time, and have more energy. Other than drinking more than I probably should, I take care of myself better. Some people close to me might call my exercise and eating routine a mild obsession, but aren’t there worse obsessions to have? I have an amazing wife, who loves me despite my countless imperfections. There are few things in life that can compete with just hanging out with my wife, playing music together, watching movies, going out to eat, playing wii…whatever it is. That’s something I certainly didn’t have at 20 (even though we were actually dating when I was 20). While I would like way more money (who wouldn’t), being financially stable allows me to go out to eat, support my music habit, waste time playing video games, do home improvements, and all those other things I couldn’t do 10 years ago. Having a house to call my own (or rather the bank’s) has been such an amazing experience. It’s my ‘safe’ place, it’s where I can play my music as loud as I want, and I can paint the wall or piss on them – it’s my choice. I like my job for the most part, which is more than lots of people can say. It’s decent pay, and I work with some truly amazing people. Having worked in a few different positions with the same company has given me great perspective on how to work with people, both the individuals we serve and co-workers. I am thankful for the role music serves in my life – both as a listener and as a musician. There isn’t a second of the day that I’m not listening to, or thinking about, music. I have my sanity – I don’t let the things that are absolute horseshit in this world affect me (my stance on religion, beliefs in the paranormal, psychics, and other bullshit that gets the weak-minded drinking poisoned kool-aid while looking to the sky for answers are very well documented, so I won’t go into them here). I’m not trying to say how great my life is – there are people reading this with much bigger houses, in far better shape, with way more money. I’m also not trying to talk myself into thinking that turning 30 is ok and really feeling like shit about it. I’m just choosing to focus on the positive things I have.



Lots of people tend to view the aging process as a negative one for some reason. Well, if you are continually aging, and you view it as negative, won’t that bring a huge amount of negativity into your life? The bottom line is simply that I can’t control many aspects of my life, but I can control how I live my life. I can control focusing on the positives. There are always problems and negativity in life. If you focus on problems, you will get more of them and it will suck the joy out of life. Focus on the positives and go enjoy life despite the 10 million things that aren’t going right, even though you’re another year older, would love more money, don’t have a perfect physique, don’t drive a Ferrari, and have to work a crummy job. You know that guy that works at wal-mart or the local dump and is genuinely happy everyday to be getting paid shit and has a shitbox car? That guy that has some sort of genuine love of life? Be that guy, but hopefully with a better car. I get amazingly overwhelmed and indulge in some serious self-loathing from time to time. But then I have moments where I think “this is life”. It might be while getting a bite to eat with my wife, or a day when work seems to fly by, or while I’m driving on a sunny day listening to my favorite band. I think I’m learning that my shitty day at work doesn’t need to a reason or an excuse for me to be an asshole to my wife at night. Be selfish and get the absolute most out of your day, and give as much as you can to the people you care about. When you live life this way, age doesn’t matter, and you can get over the inevitable hurdles that life is always going to throw at you.



Whether you are 30, 60, or 90, it’s just a number. Think about the things you have and put a smile on your face. Live positively. So, should I change my hair, my watch, and take our my earrings at 30? Hell no, those things aren’t important. Age doesn’t define me. I define me, and 30 never looked this damn good.