Damn those kids and their remakes!

I’m a movie buff. No, that’s not right…I’m more of a movie snob. I like what I like, and if you don’t like it, you are wrong. Period. I would like to consider my taste in movies to be varied, but I think that those who know me best would probably argue that point to the death. I have a huge selection of DVDs, and even though Director Genius probably has a few more ‘Special Edition’ versions than myself, I think most people are impressed when they see the collection. Throughout the titles, you will only find a few movies of mine that have subtitles – I can’t freakin’ stand subtitles. I want to watch a movie, not read. Dubbing the English words over the foreign language is suitable, so long as the timing is somewhat accurate. High Tension is a great example of this, because there is little dialogue – it’s mostly just ass-kicking wonderfulness. In the case of Inglorious Basterds, I’m willing to turn a blind eye because the movie just plain kicks ass. I don’t like chick flicks as a rule, but have made a few exceptions when there is real substance and not just a reason for girls to cry (as a side note, I’ve never understood the idea that ladies sometimes want to watch a sad movie so they can have a ‘good cry’…WTF, seriously?). Don’t even think about having John Leguizamo in your movie – I won’t even rent it, let alone buy it. Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts bore me to death – they are exactly the same in every role they play. Highly overrated.



I might be getting a tab bit off topic here, but the point is that I’m passionate about my movies. So, while I might be excited that the new Clash of the Titans movie looks visually appealing, I’m still damn happy that I have the original sitting on my shelf. Even though the Rob Zombie version of Halloween was pretty damn cool, the character should have been named something other than Michael Myers and the film should have been called something else. I might be able to excuse Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland because it wasn’t a remake, rather the aftermath of the story we already know, but why?. How many times has that same story been told in different incarnations? I’ve seen more than my share of horrible movie remakes; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Psycho, Planet of the Apes, The Dukes of Hazard, Godzilla, the list goes on and on. It’s starting to feel like Hollywood doesn’t have any originality left! Seriously, can we just get back to the days where people make original films? Even though new movies will always pull from the ideas of the past, nobody wants to see the same exact concept presented 50 different ways. Paying homage to the great films and filmmakers that came before you is second nature, and sharing those influences with people might lead them to explore films or genres that they might not have otherwise (just as in music, or any other art). But dare to do something different. Call something your own. I don’t want to buy several cds of a band doing their interpretations of other artists music, I buy a cd because I want to hear that artist – thoughts, emotions, tones, shades…everything that makes them who they are, inspirations included in that; not JUST their inspirations.

So, maybe I’m just getting older and am finding myself cursing the trend (You damn kids and your movie remakes!), but some things are sacred. When the day comes that remakes of The Princess Bride, Spaceballs, Blue Velvet, Clue, Casablanca, or The Wizard of Oz come out, I think I’ll sell my TV.